Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield has been one of my favorite comedians and specially good at stand up comedy. Check out some of his funny quotes here:

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

Funny Sports Qoutes

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’”

Valentines Day Quotes - January 20, 2008

More Valentines Day Qoutes:


Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939

Plenty of Love
Plenty of love,
Tons of kisses,
Hope some day,
To be your Mrs.
Author Unknown

Love is the greatest refreshment in life. ~Pablo Picasso

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! ~Thomas Hood

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~Robert Frost

The best portion of a good man's life,

His little, nameless, unremembered acts,

Of kindness and of love.

~ William Wordsworth


Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

Funny Sports Quotes

Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." (1992)

Valentines Day Quotes

“I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentines Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”

If music be the food of love, play on.
- Shakespeare

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
- Robert Browning

Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.
- Sean Connery

Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.
- Joyce Cary

Albert Einstein Quotes

List of Albert Einstein Quotes:

God does not play with dice - Albert Einstein

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. - Albert Einstein

Human beings must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it - Albert Einstein

Famous Sports Quotes

There is a syndrome in sports called "paralysis by analysis."

Arthur Ashe

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

‘If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?’
Vince Lombardi

‘Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.’
Martina Navratilova